Posts tagged #misc

Nor am I able to desist from gazing…”

If you translate Sir Mix-a-Lot’s Baby Got Back into Latin, and then do a literal translation back into English, you get something like this:
Large buttocks are pleasing to me, nor am I able to lie concerning this matter.
For who, colleagues, would not admit,
Whenever a girl comes by with a rather small middle part of the body
Beneath which is an obvious spherical mass, that it inflames the spirits
So that you want to be conspicuous for manly virtue, noticing her breeches
Have been deeply stuffed with buttock?
[found on jwz]

Just Another Eleanor Rigby

A lonely woman in Florida drinks herself to death and leaves behind only bits and scraps of woe:
There were three yellow Post-its on the fridge. One said: “By myself, with myself.” Another said: “Broke and alone.” And the third said: “Higher purpose?”

On the dining room table was the start of a personal ad she had written in a lined notepad: “Single and ready to experience…”

She stopped before she figured out what she was ready to experience. On the next page, she had written: “Can’t. I’m not willing at this time.”

Our Nation’s Biggest Threat . . .

… is Yellowstone National Park:
“The impact of a Yellowstone eruption is terrifying to comprehend,” says Professor McGuire. “Magma would be flung 50 kilometers into the atmosphere. Within a thousand kilometers virtually all life would be killed by falling ash, lava flows, and the sheer explosive force of the eruption. One thousand cubic kilometers of lava would pour out of the volcano, enough to coat the whole of the USA with a layer 5 inches thick. The explosion would be the loudest noise heard by man for 75,000 years.”

Money, It’s a Crime.”

Find out how rich you are (money-wise) compared to the rest of the world at the Global Rich List. Humbling stuff: If you’re making more than $33,700, you’re better off than 99 percent of your brothers and sisters on the planet.

Yeah, Breakups Can Be Like That

I don’t think either one of us knows why we split up. It was like, say you’re going to a nightclub one night with your friends and you’re in line and the next thing you know there are guys with helicopters and there’s machine-gun fire and you don’t know what happened. And that’s kind of like what our breakup was like.”

Indescribable.”

That’s the only word a friend had when I asked how Burning Man was this year. Pictures like these and these make me want to experience it next year.

It Is Forbidden To Defecate In Topsy-Turvy Way”

sign
I am completely down with this and other “English” rules posted at the entrance to a botanical garden in Hanoi.

(This image made its way to me in friend-of-a-friend fashion to make its Web debut here at mahnamahna.net. I’ll let the photographer decide whether to claim his fame in the comments or labor on in obscurity.)

The End of the Deep End

You thought this new decade was just about terrorists and war and lying Republicans. But noooo: This is also the decade in which we begin to phase out swimming pools with deep ends. No kidding. Mark Morford, wackjob columnist for SFGate, usually the sort who is off the deep end, has something to say about this.

I have such fond memories of swimming lessons from my childhood. I don’t know how many summers had swimming lessons as a major component. At least five. And I know exactly what Morford is talking about. I remember triumphing over the deep end. It changed from a Dangerous Place where I was not allowed to an area I could splash on out to, turn around, and look across the pool to the kids who couldn’t yet tread water. There I was, and there they were. Kids. Growing up.

Five Questions, Answered

There is an online parlor game of sorts that seems to be quite popular amongst the Live Journal types. Someone sends you five questions, and you answer ‘em on yer blog. Well, why the hell not? The following questions come to me from my good friend Dave, The Dangerous Episcopalian, a.k.a. Bigpancakes.
  1. How much money would it take to get you to shave your beard off and keep it off for six months?
    I suppose ten thousand dollars (after taxes!) might do it.


  2. What, if anything, do you miss about San Diego?
    South Mission Beach.


  3. What is your favorite sentence from Finnegans Wake, and why? Provide some explanation of the meaning of the sentence.
    Oh, wow. What a question. There are so many! I have heard her voice somewhere else’s before me in these ears still that now are for mine. (565) Their design is a whosold word …
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Sounds of Elsewhere

Surely you can spare a minute to clean your ears? Take a one-minute vacation from the life you are living.

One-minute vacations are unedited recordings of somewhere, somewhen. Sixty seconds of something else. Sixty seconds to be someone else.
One-minute vacations are brought to you by Quiet American and are highly addictive.